I am at a place in my life that is adventurous, creative, unknown, discovering, learning, knowing, believing, uncertain...walking and sometimes leaping as I dance through this beautifully rich life. And I am learning that embracing that is freedom--- True freedom...jumping off a huge tree swing with your eyes closed, feeling the wind on your face, your body free-floating in the air long enough to almost feel like you may never come down and then opening your eyes at the right time to communicate to your feet where to land in the last few seconds of letting gravity pull you back down. Whew! You land. And what you experienced was exhilarating!
I read an article today that just spoke so profoundly of the reality of relationships. We as human beings long for that certain someone and when we think we find the the "perfect" one, we then realize they are not perfect and move to the next one or just give up. We are constantly disappointed because in fact, we are realizing (and some may never realize it) that there is indeed no one that can satisfy our need for a perfect understanding of who we are......no one. Not our mother, our father, our brother or sister, our closest friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife.....no one. There are definitely dear people in our lives that understand and are willing to listen and encourage and to emote with you because they too desire the same longings, but that is all. Community... friends, family, companions....are here so we can push each other forward in our brokenness and our joys...so we do not have to be alone. However, we are all here to experience life to together NOT to save one another or even fulfill the aches and pains of our deepest needs and hurts.....and here is where our Father comes in. I must say, the way He designed this world is perfect. It's perfect because all the things we desire here on earth that we try to meet in so many different ways, do not end up fulfilling us at all. They only end in disappointment because we then come to the end of ourselves and realize nothing can really satisfy our needs and we truly desire someone greater than ourselves.....someone who also saves us from ourselves....and someone who understands us perfectly....who knows every hurt and every need....and can in fact, meet those needs because He is indeed perfect, and He is indeed the Savior, and He is indeed our lover, and He is indeed the Creator of our minds and our hearts. Everything, beautiful and painful here on earth, points back to the Creator. Every relationship here on earth, only shows us how fallen we are and how much more we need a Savior. And coming from a person who is far from perfect when it comes to relationships in every form that they may come, I desire them in my life. They show me how to love, how to hurt with, how to sacrifice, how selfish I am, how to encourage and how to laugh with......and most of all, how I need my Savior more than I will ever need anyone else.
Here is the passage I mentioned earlier. I believe it expresses the reality and also the sheer beauty of relationships.....
"....In the end, it seems to me that forgiveness may be the only realistic antidote we are offered in love, to combat the inescapable disappointments of intimacy. There are moments when I can almost see the space that separates Felipe from me---and that always will separate us---despite my lifelong longing to be rendered whole by someone else's love, despite all my efforts over the years to find someone who would be perfect for me and who, in turn, would allow me to become some sort of perfected being. Instead, our dissimilarities and our faults hover between us always, like a shadowy wave. But sometimes, out of the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of Intimacy herself, balancing right there on that very wave of difference---actually standing there right between us---actually (heaven help us) standing chance."
-Elizabeth Gilbert (and yes, this passage was found in the January issue of the Oprah Magazine...God can speak through rocks! okay???)