voice of beauty

I’m sitting here, actually lying on the ground of an East Nashville basement turned into a recording studio.  I am just using this free time to write a lil somethin-somethin:)  And no, I am not the one recording.  Although, I will not lie....I would love to be the one recording!  The ability to sing will be greatly taken advantage of when I am in heaven indeed!  I guess I get the privilege of being able to enjoy, to bask in, to be fully drenched by the beauty of music’s organized noise.  At times, music is able to take me almost as far as the heavens and then at other times it is able to mirror the raw emotions of me being this human on earth.    The hum of this beauty encompasses pain, deep joy,  sorrow, laughter, love broken and love in full, holiness….

music is the voice of beauty…..

…and who doesn't like listening to beauty??

 Music: the art of arranging sounds in time so as to produce a continuous, unified, and evocative composition, as through melody, harmony, rhythm, and timbre.

just lovely....

just because.

here are some photos that i just like. they inspire me a lil. there will probably be more to come.

(they are all found in theshelby.com via Goop.com)

white barn.

this is very fresh and still really down to earth. i would love to use this place as an office of some sort. how awesome would that be?!

chalkboard kitchen.

i am obsessed with chalkboard walls right now and this photo just fed my hunger for it:)

lollypop girlie.

i just like the coloring in this photo. i like the algae you can see growing on the steps. i like the brown and white stripes on this little girls hat. i like the BIG lollypop she is holding in her small hands. you know she is concentrating on downing this sucker! 

life.

these shoes have a story and probably many at that!

silverware.

i just like this photo period. i like the idea of putting silverware in drawer compartments like this . 

hope (merry Christmas!)

There's a song in the air!

There's a star in the sky!

There's a mother's deep prayer, 

And a baby's low cry!

And the star rains its fire

with beautiful song, 

For the manger of Bethlehem cradles a King.

"A few years ago a striking Christmas card was published, with the title, "If Christ had not come."  It was founded upon our Savior's words, "If I had not come."  The card represented a clergyman falling into a short sleep in his study on Christmas morning and dreaming of a world into which Jesus had never come......

In his dream he found himself looking through his home, but there were no little stockings in the chimney corner, no Christmas bells or wreaths of holly, and no Christ to comfort, gladden, and save.  He walked out on the public street, but there was no church with its spire pointing to heaven.  He came back and sat down in his library, but every book about the Savior had disappeared.

A ring at the doorbell, and a messenger asked him to visit a poor dying mother.  He hastened with the weeping child and as he reached the home, he sat down and said, "I have something here that will comfort you."  He opened his Bible to look for a familiar promise, but it ended at Malachi, and there was no gospel and no promise of hope and salvation, and he could only bow his head and weep with her in bitter despair.

Two days afterward he stood beside her coffin and conducted the funeral service, but there was no message of consolation, no word of glorious resurrection, no open heaven, but only "dust to dust, and ashes to ashes," and one long eternal farewell.  He realized at length that "He had not come" and burst of tears and bitter weeping in his sorrowful dream."

"He comes to make His blessing flow, 

Far as the curse is found!"

We now have hope and without it, life would not make sense.

-"Streams in The Dessert" (Mrs. Charles Cowan)

love reality

I seem to come to a place often where my fingers are itching to write and at the same time I have no earthly clue what to write about!  I mean, there is a lot to write about but then again where do I start or what is on the surface of my heart?

I am at a place in my life that is adventurous, creative, unknown, discovering, learning, knowing, believing, uncertain...walking and sometimes leaping as I dance through this beautifully rich life.  And I am learning that embracing that is freedom--- True freedom...jumping off a huge tree swing with your eyes closed, feeling the wind on your face, your body free-floating in the air long enough to almost feel like you may never come down and then opening your eyes at the right time to communicate to your feet where to land in the last few seconds of letting gravity pull you back down.  Whew!  You land.  And what you experienced was exhilarating!

I read an article today that just spoke so profoundly of the reality of relationships.  We as human beings long for that certain someone and when we think we find the the "perfect" one, we then realize they are not perfect and move to the next one or just give up.  We are constantly disappointed because in fact, we are realizing (and some may never realize it) that there is indeed no one that can satisfy our need for a perfect understanding of who we are......no one.  Not our mother, our father, our brother or sister, our closest friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife.....no one.  There are definitely dear people in our lives that understand and are willing to listen and encourage and to emote with you because they too desire the same longings, but that is all.  Community... friends, family, companions....are here so we can push each other forward in our brokenness and our joys...so we do not have to be alone.  However, we are all here to experience life to together NOT to save one another or even fulfill the aches and pains of our deepest needs and hurts.....and here is where our Father comes in.  I must say, the way He designed this world is perfect.  It's perfect because all the things we desire here on earth that we try to meet in so many different ways, do not end up fulfilling us at all.  They only end in disappointment because we then come to the end of ourselves and realize nothing can really satisfy our needs and we truly desire someone greater than ourselves.....someone who also saves us from ourselves....and someone who understands us perfectly....who knows every hurt and every need....and can in fact, meet those needs because He is indeed perfect, and He is indeed the Savior, and He is indeed our lover, and He is indeed the Creator of our minds and our hearts.  Everything, beautiful and painful here on earth, points back to the Creator.  Every relationship here on earth, only shows us how fallen we are and how much more we need a Savior.  And coming from a person who is far from perfect when it comes to relationships in every form that they may come, I desire them in my life.  They show me how to love, how to hurt with, how to sacrifice, how selfish I am, how to encourage and how to laugh with......and most of all, how I need my Savior more than I will ever need anyone else.  

Here is the passage I mentioned earlier.  I believe it expresses the reality and also the sheer beauty of relationships.....

"....In the end, it seems to me that forgiveness may be the only realistic antidote we are offered in love, to combat the inescapable disappointments of intimacy.  There are moments when I can almost see the space that separates Felipe from me---and that always will separate us---despite my lifelong longing to be rendered whole by someone else's love, despite all my efforts over the years to find someone who would be perfect for me and who, in turn, would allow me to become some sort of perfected being.  Instead, our dissimilarities and our faults hover between us always, like a shadowy wave.  But sometimes, out of the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of Intimacy herself, balancing right there on that very wave of difference---actually standing there right between us---actually (heaven help us) standing chance."

 -Elizabeth Gilbert (and yes, this passage was found in the January issue of the Oprah Magazine...God can speak through rocks! okay???)

psalm

Here is some great poetry......

(this was taken by my house in nashville with my iphone and it wasn't retouched or nothin'!)

"praise the Lord, o my soul.  

o Lord my God, you are very great; 

you are clothed with splendor and majesty.  

He wraps Himself in light as with a garment; 

He stretches out the heavens like a tent and lays the beams of His upper chambers on their waters.  

He makes the clouds His chariot and rides on the wings of the wind.  

He makes the winds His messengers, flames of fire his servants.  

He set the earth on its foundations; 

it can never be moved.  you covered it with the deep as with a garment; 

the waters stood above the mountains.  

but as your rebuke the waters fled, at the sound of your thunder they took flight; 

they flowed over the mountains.  they went down into the valleys, to the place you assigned for them.  

You set a boundary they cannot cross; 

never again will they cover the earth.  

He makes springs pour water into the ravines; 

it flows between the  mountains. 

 they give water to all the beasts of the field; 

the wild donkeys quench their thirst.  

the birds of the air nest by the waters; 

they sing among the branches.  

He waters the mountains from His upper chambers; 

the earth is satisfied by the fruit of His work...."

psalm 104:1-13

candle.

11/19/2009

right now I am enjoying my room for the first time.  i am not sleeping in it.  i am not cleaning it.  i am not looking for clothes to wear.  i am not even trying to decorate it.  no… i am simply on my bed and enjoying the candles that light up my room only enough that I am able to see the figures that stand around them…. 

the music drifts in from my ipod that is playing in the living room right around the corner. most of the house right now is filled with the flickering light of candles. why are candles so amazing?!  they are one of the most simplest things in life and yet with even one candle lit in a dark room, immediately hope bursts forth.

as i look around my room i notice the beauty of each artifact, (others may call clutter), on my fireplace and dresser drawer.  with the candles lit you can see each item for the beauty of what it is.  candles create shadows which then creates definition and i am seeing that right now. with a light bulb, you can definitely see things better but everything becomes one dimensional or flat.  i rather see things in 3d.  not to say i won’t ever use a light bulb, cause i will.  i just hope that i will use my candles more..... 

their stillness stills me.  their simplicity calms me.  their beauty inspires me.   they have also wooed me into my room to just simply be and for that i am thankful.  i am hoping to do this more…..

Writing Pangs

I am sitting here in my office at work. The computer screen that lights up my face, stands against a one-sided mirror. It is very entertaining watching people come in and out from their luxurious spa services. Every human gravitates to the mirror and it is very entertaining watching each person examine their newly pampered selves....


I am grateful for this time to write. It gets very quiet here when the employees are doing their jobs well and the guests are tucked away in their beautifying chambers of relaxation.


It's quiet now. So I will write. Why not?



I actually don't know what to write about but I cannot just sit here mindless.....



Here is something I have been thinking: I feel like the older I get the younger I feel and the more confindent I am but also knowing that I still have so much more to learn!!!



Get it?? haha!
How can I make exactly what I'm saying a little more profound?......ummm.....
maybe......

well, here are two words:

1.) humilty

2.) LIVING

...realizing life is meant to be lived....with the pain, the heartaches (and oh boy they hurt, but the way God heals in His timing is beautiful...no really it is...after the fact of course...), with laughter (not taking myself too seriously. why am so hard on myself when my Savior is not even that hard on me??...actually He's not hard on me at all!), with the liberty to explore and create (to walk into the things that are embedded in my heart to do and trust that my Lord will pave the path He desires for me to walk down as I do just that), with faith like a child (to know I am human and to know I am created in the image of the God of the Universe....there should be security in that alone.)

In the words I once heard my very good friend use, "I desire to dance my way through life!"

And that I shall:) If we live one life, there should be no reason at all not to dance! Dance so hard that even when you fall, the pain you feel is way more bareable than the pain you are experiencing from laughing so hard.....

I have heard this scripture more than you know but I know for a fact it's true..."The joy of the Lord is our strength."

Life is my dance and laughing is my Lord........

ok then:)